I was there , I had it , I lost it !!

I was there
I had it
I lost it

God knows what happened
Everyday i wake up hoping to start again
but its in there in me
It doesnot go

It pains more when i look back
it still pains even if i don't
its gruesome , its excruciating


I dont want sympathy God
Just give it back to me

Life is entagled and becomes complex day by day
These memories they dont haunt , they scream

Deep in my heart
I know its all over
But i dont want to take it


There is eternal silence just as before the storm
And i wait for the storm to come

I detest , i loathe , but its me
i am not changing
I am stuck

I dont fear anything
But i start fearing these demon thoughts
they take me back
and then Darkness looms

I was so strong
not that i am not now
I shall be till i die no matter what happens

But weakness creeps in like weeds

I dont live , i die everyday
I dont breathe , i suffocate
I dont sleep , i am always awake


What am i waiting for
i have no idea
I wonder If it's a conspiracy by you God

They say you should have 1 goal , 1 dream

I was there ,
I had it
And i lost it................